


extra help

by sade12



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dyslexia, Fluff, M/M, Reminiscing, UM...... KIND OF.........., feelins, they have a DECENT relationship in this one uhumm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 00:32:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8230045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sade12/pseuds/sade12
Summary: jesse learns the difference between mr. white, and mr. white.





	

**Author's Note:**

> okay listen.... these two's relationship is the most INTERESTING fucking thing i've come across in months ok. i love their dynamic and i've been rattling ideas back an forth and i wanted to kind of analyze and test the scaffolding to put it in other words?? theres just so many layers here man  
> i kiiinda bent around the list scene from S1 and threw my own ideas in there and its... admittedly... i started getting a little soppy towards the end and now it's fluffier than intended. fuck  
> PS: it's an a/u where jesse has dsylexia, so there's that thing  
> anyway, hope you dig this! see ya l8r. i might write more of these two really soon// ty for the kudos!

It makes sense, improvisation. Except that it’s not so much improvised, per se- it’s a ‘careful’ calculation. Run out of one thing, start using another thing. If you’re not cooking with gas, turn the stove on.

Or, in this case, if you’re not cooking with pseudo, start cooking with...

“Jesse?”

_Snap._ Just like that, the latter seemed to be dragged from his thoughts, and back into the kitchen of his just-above-worn-down house. Jesse let out a quick sigh, running his tongue over his dry lips before responding, sounding more annoyed than he originally intended.

“What?”

Waving his hand around in front of his face to get his attention, Walter’s eyebrows furrowed. “Were you even here for the last five minutes? I was telling you about the list.”

For half a moment, Jesse had enough of a drive to ask what list he was talking about to be a smartass, but he didn’t feel up for stirring up anything else, even if it was by mistake.

“I’m listening, alright? Give it here.”

The list didn’t sound too long, despite the fact that more than half the things, upon first hear, sounded unidentifiable when coming out of Walter’s mouth. Jesse had mostly been tuned out during his ramble, lost in his own thoughts and without a care in the world, until the list was actually slid in his direction. It was longer than it sounded, that was a definite.

Walter choked back a series of coughs and cleared his throat the best he could. “Like I said, it’ll probably be expensive.” He straightened his shirt and stood up straight then, letting out a soft sigh and staring out the window; “Actually... It will be expensive. But what isn’t, huh?”

The laugh he produced was fleeting, until he turned his eyesight back to his partner and actually saw the look on his face.

It wasn’t anything dynamic from Jesse’s usual range of expressions- angry, confused and sometimes jovial- but it was different; bewilderment. And, something that even looked like slight fear.

“What’s the matter?”

Jesse’s lips pursed quickly, but his shoulders heaved as if he was suppressing a sigh. “Just... You know, man. Reading.”

“Ah, alright. Take your time.”

The first thing to manifest inside his mind was the fact that Mr. White was his old chemistry teacher. Old in more ways than one, that was for sure, but the matter was that Jesse didn’t know if he remembered. Or, hell, if he even knew about it.

On the slip of paper, the letters bounced around, switching from this place to that, from up to down. He steeled his nerves and attempted to push on, but wondered if his nervousness was as easy to pick up on as he thought it was. If, maybe, Mr. White could detect his fear pheromones. Can chemistry teachers _do_ that?

Under his breath, Jesse murmured the letters. It wasn’t helping that he didn’t know more than half of the terms he was being presented; all the meaningless letter blobs just took on less meaning. He was surprised that was even possible at the state they were in. 

The situation was crucial. If he messed up on one thing, he could- and most likely would- end up in creating a concoction that would blow up the RV; he pondered asking for help, a simple pointer in the right direction on what which word meant and what it was. In his current state, as the letters moved, even pronouncing any seemed just south of impossible.

His heart jumped at the thought, oddly. Asking Mr. White for help on a word or two. He couldn’t swallow his pride, however, and refrained from it; but the thought didn’t go away as easily. It stuck there, and the first thing he thought made his eyes open just a little wider.

He’d be asking his old chemistry teacher for instructions.

Why did that thought seem so _weird?_ Was it the fact that it was because it was just like how it was in that God forsaken chem class, or was it because now instead of some stupid fifth grade level volcano project they were making crystal meth of all things?

Hot blood was rushing up to his head, making his ears feel warmer and his face feel hotter. Jesse was embarrassed for something that hadn’t even happened yet.

“Uh...” Darting his blue eyes around the room, Jesse’s voice came up. “Yo, Mr. White.”

“Mm?”

He almost felt like turning around, running to his bathroom and laughing at himself. “Could you, uh... Man, listen. What word is this?”

Walter paused briefly before raising an eyebrow just slightly- enough to show that he was confused, but not anything provocative enough to warrant being called a bitch. He did do his part, though, and moved around the counter island just enough to lean over Jesse’s shoulder and look at what he was pointing at.

“How about you sound it out?”

There was a concoction of nervousness, anger, and even nostalgia building up in his mind. It was so prevalent, it was even distracting. He remembered Mr. White saying the exact same thing when he asked about praseodymium however many years ago. But why did he remember that?

“Me- Ma- Meta-” Upon realizing what he was doing, Jesse stared up at his partner with eyes like daggers. He took in everything; from the small, shit-eating grin crossing his face to the fact he clearly found something funny. For a moment, he almost thought about shoving him backwards. “Aw, _real_ funny. Dude, fuck you.”

There was a quick silence, save Walter chuckling to himself.

“You’re serious, then? I-” Walter’s smile was replaced by a miffed tutting sound. “Methamphetamine. That’s what it is.”

Out of seemingly nowhere, Jesse started speaking quicker. “Look, okay? I’m just not good with the really big words, okay?” He stared at his shoes then, awkwardly tucking his hair under his beanie. “Happens to everybody. I mean, like, hell. I have a friend who has the same problem, you know? It happens a lot. And, I mean, shit. It’s just a word, right? Why does it-”

“It matters because it’s the recipe.”

“Wha- Yo, I wasn’t going to ask why it matters! _Chill!”_

“Then what were you going to ask?”

“Geez... Why is it spelled like that?” He opt to recite it aloud, but the letters seemed to shift faster when he tried.

“Well, as you probably forgot, since it’s a chiral compound-”

The sound of Walter’s voice was cut out by Jesse throwing his head back and fake snoring as loud as he could. 

“I guess history repeats itself, huh?” Despite the expression on his face, Walter sounded just slightly amused as he spoke over him. “I’m sure we had this exact same exchange when I was still teaching you.”

_Badum._ Jesse’s heart leapt up into his throat for a split second, and the snoring stopped.

That statement alone hit as terrifying and calming wrapped and folded into one package; it could’ve been easily overlooked, but no. Not to Jesse at all, because that meant he remembered how awful his ‘worst’ student was, who forgot everything and didn’t have the mental capacity to make a volcano without a group of four other classmates and his own supervision. 

But there was a difference from the Mr. White he knew and the Mr. White that was standing right next to him, teasing him for not knowing a word that was longer than any of his responses on his tests. Because ‘meth’ is just more efficient to say. 

It took him out of it, the reality of their situation, for no more than a second. It wasn’t just ‘I’m cooking meth with my old teacher’, anymore, it was ‘my old teacher is cooking meth with me’.

Their relationship was precarious, volatile and unkempt, but it had roots, a kind of student-teacher bond. And Jesse was already sure whenever Mr. White looked at him, if even just for a moment during a cook, he just saw himself giving a student extra help after school with a chemistry project. Because he was just _like that._

“I don’t mind as long as you know what you need to get, and where to find it.” With a stretch, Walter moved away from beside him and leaned over the counter. “It’ll be easy for you.”

“Yeah?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

Jesse looked down at the fervently scrambling word spaghetti in his hand, but put the list into his pocket rather indifferently, already envisioning himself abiding to it. “You know... You’re right, you’re right. Thanks, man.”

There was a pat on his back, but it was so faint he didn’t even notice it.

“Thank you for applying yourself, Jesse.”

By the time his words sunk in, Mr. White had already left the house.


End file.
